August is flying by. J gets home today. I’m excited to hear about the trip. Thank you for this morning, being up early, and feeling excited.
Oh my! There it is again! I’m excited! Thank you thank you. (Feeling excited recently went away for me for about 2-3 weeks as a result of getting Covid middle July. For a time I felt abnormally dismal, depressed, hopeless…the opposite of excited. I knew it was a result of Covid (not permanent) but nonetheless, awful while in it.
NOTE: a little context on today’s writing. Spirit isn’t usually this chatty (for me). I am accustomed to getting clear direction daily or at least regularly. But this is a lot of ‘words’ and instruction, if you will, at one time. Something like this occurs 1x/month to 4 x/year. Lastly, this conversation may or may not make a lot of sense. Communicating with spirit is so powerful and clear for the one in it, but describing it or relating it to others doesn’t always work. This was powerful for me, and I recognize that out of context might not be clear. Also, please remember that my goal is to be as accurate and authentic as I can without over-interpreting what I hear. Where I use (..), this is my interpretation in the moment, as it hits me with unspoken words. I share this because a) I am supposed to, and b) it’s hard to say who will read something and benefit from it. Some paintings work for some and not for others. However this hits you, let me know in the comments below what you think!
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8 12 22
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you sooooo much for the walk and talk with a friend yesterday. Great conversation! That was so healing and helpful. Thank you.
(human) CONNECTION WITH UNDERSTANDING (GOES A LONG WAY)
Yes. I see that. But I’m surprised to hear you say that. With all the isolation and aloneness I feel (recently) I thought my lesson is to be totally dependent on you and frankly, satisfied with just you, should that be the case. But I got to be honest, you’re awesome, but time with another human being—who understands, to whom one relates, is awesome too.
IT HAS (YOU ARE LEARNING how to be less in charge, less separate from me and fully allow me to drive) (a lesson I seem to have to learn regularly). BOTH (BUT ONE DOES NOT CANCEL OUT THE OTHER). YOU CANNOT PROPERLY RELATE (to life, to people) WITHOUT A FIRM FOUNDATION IN WHO YOU ARE AND WHO I AM.
Are you and I the same? Does the self have an identity? (I have been curious a lot recently about consciousness, the mind, the soul, God, what it all means…and specifically, how all that relates to my life, aka, just what the heck am I doing with my life…)
HA! NO WE ARE NOT THE SAME (I know that) (but the second question is valid) YES YOU HAVE AN IDENTITY. BUT ITS NOTHIG LIKE THE WORLD DESCRIBES. YOUR IDENTITY IS NOT BUILT BY YOUR SCHOOL OR YOUR PARENTS—GENETICALLY OR WITHIN THE FAMILIAL CULTURE—YOUR IDENTITY IS A/THE SPARK OF GOD…(to which all human’s feel, sense, plus minus, etc.)
…is that the soul?
YES. NO. the SOUL IS WHAT GETS CREATED COMBINING THE SPARK WITH WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE. (one’s ‘soul’ grows. The ‘soul’ you come in with (God’s spark) and the soul you die with, are different) YOUR REACTIONS BEHAVIORS…THE SOUL…WHO YOU REALLY ARE…GETS CONSTRUCTED FROM SO MANY THINGS DETERMINED BY FOCUS KNOWLEDGE BEHAVIORS RESPONSES ACTIONS AND WHAT HUMANS CALL CONSCIENCE WHICH IS NOTHING MORE THAN A HUMAN’S ABILITY TO HEAR THAT SPARK. THAT MAKES THE SOUL.
(Reminder, I type with my eyes closed, ALLL CAPS to differentiate God from me and I don’t fill in the blanks of God’s message to me. I type it as I hear it, which is always clear to me in the moment, but doesn’t translate that well)
Hold up! need to process! Btw, wasn’t expecting this all-of-a-sudden-dump this morning, and I am so grateful for it. no time to muddle around in my own mess. Love it! OK, soul. Who really knows what this is? But we love to think on it, and we have lots of different concepts and constructions. I am doubting my ability to hear you, or get this ‘right’
YES
BUT TRUTH IS NOT A HEAD THING BUT AN ‘IS’ THING. A SOURCE, A SPARK. THIS IS WHY WE SPEAK IN PARABLES. TRUTH IS INITIATED LIKE A DROP OF WATER. BUT THEN IT GOES OUT. ONE SIDE OF THE RING IS NOT THE SAME AS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING, BUT THE SPARK IS TRUTH.
BIG BANG THEORY IS NOT TRUE AND IT IS NOT UNTRUE. SOMETHING DID NOT COME FROM NOTHING. WHAT IS CALLED ‘NOTHING’ IS SIMPLY INVISIBLE—WITHOUT MATTER—AND WITHOUT MEASURE, OR WEIGHT. THIS IS WHAT THE SPIRIT(UAL) IS. A WORLD WITHOUT WORDLY MEASURE.
I HAVE PUT YOU HERE TO TEACH ABOUT ME. NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S WAY, NOT RELIGIONS WAY, WHAATEVER THAT IS, NOT THE WORLDS WAY, WHATEVER THAT IS. YOUR WAY.
I have a way?
YES. YOU CONSULT ME ON EVERYTHING. YOU DON’T ALWAYS DO OR IT TAKES YOU A WHILE TO HEAR/UNDERSTAND, BUT YOU ARE NOT STUBBORN AND YOU SEEK ME FIRST.
That’s true. When I can’t hear you, or don’t get clear direction, I feel lost.
COACHING WAS ABOUT LEARNINIG PEOPLE AND THE MIND THE BRAIN AND ALL THAT IS TAUGHT WHAT WORKS WHAT DOESN’T WORK. YOU HAVE DONE EXCELLENT AT THIS.
That’s a semi-new perspective. I mean, I know life is school, life is a series of lessons. But then we, me, take what is given and we want to DO something with it. I’m learning, when one does this, even with a gift or skill that is given, if the how-to or what-to-do instruction isn’t followed, we take our gifts and use them in the wrong way, or in the wrong direction. Wow, my life is living proof. My coaching skills certainly were given; I never set out to be a coach, I didn’t study to be a coach, other than my morign meditation. People just started showing up and never stopped. Anyway, we, me, take what is given and try to turn it into what we want. Where I’m going with this: the coaching gift was a school, not a job or an income.
BINGO! BUT DO NOT BE HARD ON SELF. THIS IS WHY JESUS WAS MEEK AND FULL OF COMPASSION. THE WAY OF LIFE IN THE WORLD, IN PHISICALITY, IS VERY DIFFICULT. SLOW. (we knew what a difficult project this would be.) HUMANS LIVE 80 YEARS +, SO 20 YEARS IS SLOW. WE HAVE BEEN AT THIS FOR TRILLIONS OF YEARS. YOUR MARK IS BILLIONS, THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE ABLE TO SEE. (life on earth …) LIFE ON EARTH FOR MAN IS DIFFICULT—SLOW—LIMITED—(but your spark is very valuable) HUMANS ARE FOCUSED ON THEIR LIVES. WE ARE FOCUSED ON YOU. ITS LIKE BEING ABLE TO SEE SURROUNDED IN MUD. NO EASY TASK! BUT GOD HAS MADE YOU—HUMANS—PHENOMINALLY SKILLED, YOU MUST USE YOUR OTHER SENSES TO ‘SEE IN MUD’ WHICH YOU DID, BECAUSE YOU HAD TO.
Truth! (God is referring to my growing up where I felt confused, not safe, where I learned to rely on God more than parental figures)
WHEN YOU FELT TERRIBLE AND YOU DID NOT HAVE YOUR MIND, DID YOU HAVE ME? (God is referring to recent Covid event)
Hmm.. interesting. Yes. I knew your directions. I didn’t like them and I didn’t feel good but truthfully, yes. You were there. But, not having my own mind was scary!
SEEING THROUGH MUD
Yes! And worse! Because your—my—vessel felt destroyed. Or just incapable.
IF YOUR VESSEL IS ‘DESTROYED’ …NOT FUNCTIONING…AND YOUR MIND IS ‘GONE’ –BOTH OF WHICH ARE GIFTS FROM ME, ARE YOU NOT STILL OK?
Hm. I know you want me to say yes here, but… well, you hear many incredible stories of people surviving truly difficult loses, loses of the body, the mind, of others, of sight, of hearing…
ANSWER FROM YOURSELF. WHAT DID YOU JUST EXPERIENCE?
I experienced not being myself and it was terrifying.
AND WHAT DID YOU DO?
Run to you. Cling to you.
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE CHANGING? (and that an event intended for ill we used for good)?
Yes. I knew I was in a 1-2-3 punch. In terms of Shift-Zing-BOOM-Weee, I was in the BOOM. I thought, well, I’m either going to be crazy for the rest of my life, or, the way I think is radically being altered.
BINGO!
True transformation comes from God. We can do nothing—lasting—ourselves. I did feel like I was being broken down. Broken apart. I thought of all the metaphors…being put in the fire…being re-born, all that jazz.
YOU ARE HERE TO TEACH ABOUT SPIRIT, MY GIFT of being able to hear & perceive TO YOU (ALL). HOW TO LISTEN SEEMS EASY TO YOU BECAUSE THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE EVER DONE. IF OR WHEN PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE ‘CRAZY’ , YOU DON’T CARE.
Yea, that’s true for the most part, but not all. I still worry considerably about fully being me
YOU WON’T ANY MORE. GIVE IT A FEW MORE WEEKS. EARLLY SEPT.
Is there a difference between teaching about spirit and teaching about God?
YES
SPECIFICALLY: THE SPIRITUAL REALM IS THERE. YOU HEAR IT YOU KNOW IT WAY BEFORE YOU COULD READ OR WERE TAUGHT ANYTHING, YOU HEARD ME AND YOU LISTENED. AND YOU DID!
Two reactions: one is profound gratitude for your consistency and love. No way to express this. the other is fear. People will think I am nuts. Or make fun of me. or…various levels of worse. You cannot say that you talk to God. Or learn from God. Or are taught by God.
WHY?
No good answer there. Have you tried it?
HA!
NO, YOU WILL INSPIRE AND MOTIVATE. MANY KNOW—FEEL—AS YOU DO, BUT GIVE UP ON THE PRACTICE OUT OF LACK OF SUPPORT AND INFORMATION.
I always thought of myself as desperate enough and that this was the grounds for my success. And I love teaching! I always wanted to be a teacher. As a young adult, it was professor. Professor Mol. I’d much rather teach than preach. Honestly I kinda freaked out a little bit ago thinking that you were going to take me in a preacher or evangelism position. That would be a stretch for me…to say the least….
I KNOW. WE KNOW. BUT YOU MUST TEACH FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE AND DO NOT BE AFRAID.
Already am…
HA!
I have (‘known’) this (fact / idea / life course…) for a long time now but I haven’t wanted to do it. well, I have and I haven’t. Does that make sense? I have danced around it.
I KNOW CUTE
Very funny…but, today, in total honestly, I can see how I have not engaged, while engaging, and staying very busy. Knowing the course, but not fully doing it, or knowing how. Putting the toe in. The fact is out there… on the fringes or at arms length. Why did you make us like this? How odd we are to ourselves. But obviously you know the full story. You wrote it. There must be a reason we are so clueless! It would be like me writing a story and then wondering why the heck the main character does something! and not wanting to fully embrace…or do…and where has it gotten me? standing here, lost, asking myself what it is I am supposed to be doing.
Hahahaha! That must be so funny to you. Always when I look at myself from your perspective, I cringe. Slightly. I can laugh at myself pretty easily though. We compare ourselves to you and what we must look like to you. But we are in the dark.
BINGO! EXACTLY!
I love it when I re-learn something I already know at exactly moment I need it. Yes, we are in the dark. That is why it is difficult to see. Before the fallen world and the entrance of evil, of darkness, we could see. It’s not our fault, or the fault of the design itself, but the (very real) doing of dark supernatural energies.
YOU—A HUMAN—ARE FUTURE SPIRITUAL BEINGS, SACRED, WORTHY BUT IT IS TOUGH IN A FALLEN WORLD THIS IS WHY ‘IT’ HAS TAKEN SO LONG, TO GIVE EVERY CHANCE. AND GENERATE MORE SPIRITUAL BEINGS! YOU CANNOT KNOW WHAT YOU WILL BECOME. THIS IS WHAT REVELATION IS…AN ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE ALL THAT IS. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE, FROM THERE. JESUS CAME TO JOHN WITH THE VISION AND JOHN RECORDED IT ACCURATELY. SO LETS TALK ABOUT WHAT ACCURATE IS: ENCODED FROM SPIRIT: (does it communicate globally what God wants and needs it to communicate, from every angle, no matter who looks at it?) GODS IMPRINT ON THE MESSAGE. THIS IS WHY TRANSLATIONS WORK. BECAUSE OF SPIRIT. WHO MEETS YOU WHERE YOU ARE AND SPEAKS TO YOU AND GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED. THROUGH THE BIBLE YOU CONNECT WITH GODS REALM. IN YOUR MIND…MOST IMPORTANTLY.
God, I’m getting tired. Head fried.
I KNOW ONE MORE THING YOU WILL NOT FAIL. JUST BE YOU. STOP TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. JUST BE HAPPY AND LET IT GO. LOVE ME DO WHAT I ASK REPRESENT ME TEACH WHAT YOU KNOW
Okay.
And definitely going to have to revisit this.
YES!
I love you
WE LOVE YOU
11:30. An hour and a half later…! Holy cow! You wouldn’t believe the (wait, who am I talking to?) the phone call I just got off. Wow! Where I taught and did just what you said I would do and I did it without any shame or caution or fear…and this person was so grateful; my words were exactly what she needed to hear. I finished writing the above, and 20 minutes later I was on the phone.
Thank you Jesus!!! For healing me, showing me the way and choosing me to help others. This is a position of extreme privilege, and you are with me and will not let me fail or forsake me.
Heavenly Father, bless that woman with the courage and skill to do this. I know she can and I know you will help her.
Amen.
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