Yesterday morning I woke with excruciating sciatica pain. (Good morning Oct 12, 2020). I immediately panicked. I have been pain free for close to a year, and the thought of going back into a daily battle put me on edge. As my mind rolo-dexed frantically through all the possible physical or emotional triggers, I calmed myself immediately, knowing all too well that this is a spiritual battle so I connected the dots backwards, in that direction.
Years ago, as I learned about 4BodyHealth and put into practice what I was told–how the spiritual flows into the emotional, and the emotional into the mental, and lastly from the mental into the physical (a formula I would label SEMP) I struggled in my ability to work the formula backwards and forwards, lacking faith, which is a determinant of one’s mental faculty. If you do not believe in faith, in totality, that something can occur, it will not.
This morning I am pain free. In fact the pain was gone within 4 hours of doing what I do best: get out of the way and let God take over.
Yesterday as I was writhing in pain, unable to figure out a pain-free position, I shared with a couple of close friends my condition. ‘Did you pick up the ice chest wrong?’ ‘Bad mattress?’ “No, that’s not it” I said. I knew what it was. I didn’t allow myself to be distracted by circumstances. I went straight to God, already knowing basically what He was going to say.
Dear Heavenly Father, I have been pain free for almost a year now and you did that for me. Thank you. What am I missing? You are clearly wanting to get my attention.
I WANT YOU TO WRITE
Yep. There it is again. Same thing He has been telling me for years. Write. Everyday. Write about me, write about your story. Write what I have given you. So, in pain, I started writing, immediately. Didn’t think that the pain would go away immediately, but I knew it would get worse if I resisted. Resisting is the worst thing you can do. When you hear the small voice and you intentionally ignore it, it will catch up to you. And in this moment, it has caught up to me. The pain is so excruciating its impossible to ignore. If you ignore spirit, it will trickle down, body by body, until you are having physical symptoms.
I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday; I’ve been down this road once or twice. I know what happens when you fall for the distractions and ignore your purpose. You might get away with it for a while, but God will get your attention. The key is to avoid the major car accident. Too many of us require major crisis in our lives before acknowledging that spirit is trying to get you to go in another direction. Your pain is connected to your purpose. The further you are from your purpose, the more pain you are going to have. The closer you come to hearing God and fulfilling your design, God will stop needing to get your attention.
I sat down, tea cup in hand. At first, it’s hard, the demands scream at you. Client texts, emails flooding, my brain hyperactively scanning–every time a distraction would hit me, I acknowledged to myself I am working for God. It’s not that God is going to fire me. I don’t feel afraid that suddenly my contract will be up. It’s just that acknowledging what I am here to do directly related to the spiritual realm and my own spirit ensures that my work conditions do not get worse, which in this case, was what I needed to sit on in order to write. I began typing, exactly where I had left off about 3 weeks ago. Within 4 hours the pain was barely noticeable. Relief started immediately but by 4 pm that evening when a friend came over to give me “vegan candy” (garden fresh cherry tomatoes) and discuss David Bentley Hart’s translation of The New Testament I remained pain free even though I was slumped on the couch, crappy posture and all.
Five years ago when the sciatica pain first started I was facing tremendous mental and emotional stress. Even though I knew the sciatica was caused by all the stress in my life, google and other influences in my life were telling me that my pain originated in the spine or the back and the solution was Ibuprofen, ice, perfect posture, massage, physical therapy and if all that failed (and it did), surgery. Through all the breathing, the ice, the stretching, massage, perfect posture, and dietary excellence…the pain remained the same. I had X rays and 2 cat scans. There was nothing wrong with my spine or back. In fact the spinal doctor said I had the spine of a 20 year old (I was 50). But the cat scan DID turn up a TINY tear in my right hip–fairly normal for the athletics of my youth–and the doctor said that this tear ‘could or could not be the problem’ but that the only way to know, was surgery. If the surgery took away the pain, it was the tear, if not, back to square one.
I kid you not: I was so desperate that I was standing at the scheduling desk about to schedule my hip surgery and I hear “NO!” Loud and clear. That is not a mistakable voice. I stare at the woman behind the desk, my phone in hand and politely say “you know, I might not be in town then, can I get back to you?”
So like I say, this ain’t my first rodeo. 5 years later, I wasted no time seeking the solution. I went straight to God and asked for help. Heavenly Father, what I am not doing? Or what am I doing? Please guide me.
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