8 24 22

Where to begin?

Have you ever had a moment where it all seems so clear?  So obvious?  Where it all comes together perfectly?  It’s the perfect holiday dinner, the perfect vacation.  Which of course neither of those exist unless one learns to allow and receive and not judge.  We learn to be fully present and then each moment is perfect—the chaos, the missed connections, the spilled gravy—and what is a more perfect life then ongoing perfect moments?

Good Morning God.  Wow, have I been a mess.  As I have healed (aha!) from 2 months of being sick—physically sick and mentally sick—the obviousness of it all is so obvious.  My excuse is I was sicker than I have ever been.  Flat out, no energy, unable to think or perform in any way.  But I don’t need an excuse nor do I offer one.  Not feeling well led to not thinking well and as much as the past 2 months have been not fun, I know that I am learning something valuable. 


Yes!  Oh, but first, I want to say that I have been so selfish and stupid, like for 50 years, because I have been so focused on me.  Even though I consider myself service oriented.  But when it comes to our relationship:  me Molly and you God, I have been very selfish, and misguided.  I do not share that I talk to God for fear of what people will think of me…instead of being so consistently and profoundly grateful that you talk to me. 

(I feel a presence all around me).

This is what it means to live an inspired life.  The supernatural talks to us, something that is not us, guides us and is there.  And we take, take, take.  And make this our own idea.  Or neglect.  We are such small thinkers…

The journals, the lessons…everything that you and you alone gave me, I am still scared / nervous / embarrassed to say that I was ‘coached by God’ (for example) and that this is how I learned to coach others.  Years of meditation, quiet, talking to you and writing down what you said and then practicing it led to

Wait, what am I trying to say here God?  I feel like I’m off in the weeds. 


Haha!  Okay well, help a sister out. 


Oh yeah!  Thanks.  Back on track.  Reflection.  On June 15th my mom accidently overdosed on pain meds.  That sent me to the moon. Or rather, the depth of my own mind…not always a great place those depths.  All this pain, fear, worry, falsities, just sitting there, buried.  Who knew it was there?  I thought I healed and dealt with all that!  And where exactly are these depths…where is this ‘stuff’ stored? Maybe not so much ‘in the mind’ because the mind is a non physical place…the thoughts can be there…but where in my physical body were these creatures laying dormant?  My spine?  My cels?  My DNA? 

Where’s an expert when you need them?

Point is, I experienced the ‘gunk’ in my body again, as any good trigger will do: fear, I am not safe, etc. Then Covid wiped me out and with it came a whole host of negative, destructive thinking.  It’s hard to feel great when you don’t feel great.  But I guess that’s the challenge.


Because there was so much great that I could have focused on, but I didn’t.  First of all, the destructive aspect of Covid on your body and mind is very real.  Yes, your body is sick, you lay down and rest and rest and rest and in the case of Covid, keep resting…but it’s the effect on one’s mind that I hadn’t heard talked about.  And for me, I consider this waaaaay more destructive or hard than the physical tiredness.  In the past, being sick was kinda fun, like a vacation.  Great excuse to lay around and read books and maybe you lose a pound or two.  No problem.  But Covid sick sucks the life out of you, the will to live and I’m hearing this from many others…

Wait, help, lost again…


Oh yeah, thanks.  I had become very negative again, and focused on all the wrong things, constantly, intermittently, throughout the day. Prior to the 1-2 punch of my mom’s accident and me getting Covid, I was in a peaceful, positive place (mentally) for years.  I remember writing about how consistently peaceful I felt in Colorado back in June, and now, 2 months later I’m all gunked up.  But this negativity, this time, compared to the past, is microscopic.  I would have said that I am focused on God and very positive, but if I really pay attention to my every thought, like this morning, I see all the little no big deal thoughts that are uber critical of myself or others.  This is so important:  as I ‘get better’ at controlling my mind and taking all my thoughts to Christ and focusing on the good (nomenclature in Christianity) the insidiousness and subtly of darkness becomes greater too.  I didn’t notice my destructive thinking because it was subtle and seemed like an accurate reflection of ‘reality.’ When in reality, one creates their ‘reality’ by being in the mindset that produces that reality. 

I remember how I got myself into the right mind the first time.  I need to go back to that.  This strategy worked very well, it radically altered my outlook and put me into the positive, productive mental space that we all want.  I’ve shared this with others, and I need to go back to it again.

Nuke Negative Thinking Recipie


  • Headphones, with you at all times
  • Cell phone (or whatever you listen on)
  • 5-10 audible books, YouTube programs and/or recorded speakers who are positive, motivational and succeeding in whatever ways you want to succeed or be motivated
  • The willingness to apply this formula strictly and consistently

The second you think a thought that is negative and destructive *, which includes being critical of others and yourself, judgmental, whining, complaining…you immediately stop the thought, mid-stream, regardless of how relevant the thought seems in the moment and you replace it with a positive or productive thought that takes you directly where you want to go.  For example, instead of complaining about the response time of customer service, I said Heavenly Father thank you for the inspiration for the article I’m writing…etc.

*In Christianity, a negative or destructive thought is anything that is not from God, which can be assessed by the fruits of the spirit:  love, patience, joy, etc.  All other thoughts are considered from evil and they are destructive to your mental wellbeing, such as fear, worry, anexiety, etc.  Regardless of one’s religious beliefs, negative thinking creates a habit of thinking in non-productive ways and all religions, academics, behavioral sciences, and business acumen speak to this and address the importance of thinking your way into a direction.  Put simply, this is the basis of all mindfulness practices. Any amount of time you spend thinking about things that you don’t want, don’t need, are afraid of, mad at, etc…is time away from creating and achieving what you DO want, DO need, and enjoy or love.   But with negative thinking, you are also placing a turd in the punchbowl (apologies for gross metaphor). All that is already there—in your mind soup—is now tainted by the placement of toxic thinking. 

IF and WHEN you CANNOT stop your negative thinking from happening, because sometimes we’re just that muckered up, you put on your headphones and turn on someone else’s thoughts.  If I can’t stop the negative thinking right after I notice it, I start listening to something else.  I have a 30 second rule.  This works brilliantly!  You are replacing your toxic thoughts with better thoughts. 

Years ago, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship, and I noticed that my thoughts were constantly negative and looping about this individual.  And I couldn’t stop myself.  I was just so angry and hurt and I felt ‘justified’ in my thinking and yet I knew the negative thinking was making me feel worse. 

At the time, this was on my constant playlist:

  • Power of Positive Thinking
  • (anything) Jim Rhon
  • Les Brown
  • Impact Theory, the show, pick your favorites. This program is focused on investing in the mind, creating the life of your dreams, etc.  I tend to like underdogs, rags to riches or people who were able to overcome extreme circumstances and achieve a goal and do it uniquely, not just blah blah blah I want a mansion…
  • Joyce Meyers


…to be continued on 8.25.22