9 15 22
All I ever wanted to do is tell stories. Why did I make this so hard? Dear Heavenly Father, help me with this day. You are always with me, help me remember that. Keep my heart and mind focused.
Why am I a jumble this morning? First thing I flooded the laundry room in attempt to soak a dirty rag. This came about because the kitchen smells like old fish. Does James Patterson get up and prattle on about all this? Probably not.
KEEP LEARNING WORKING GROWING. YOURE DOING GREAT / FINE
What do I do now?
Look at that! Gratitude will work. Let’s compare that with what my mind came up with:
Camera A: my mind
Camera B: spirit
Complain. Mostly about everything I have to do, which really, isn’t that much.
Gratitude: just be grateful. Notice all that is good. That is all.
Feel off about the fact that I flooded the laundry room first thing and let this ruin my whole day.
General grumpiness (why?) (nothing is wrong)
Why does my mind want to destroy things? Nothing is wrong and my mind goes looking for it. We all do that. I just particularly notice it when everything is particularly fine. That’s why I used to be on a constant roller coaster, up, down, up, down. I always fell for it. Now I’m onto it. Now I know not to focus on the negative. I’ve become adept at not focusing on the negative, and not even having to think about it. I spot it and correct quickly. But my thoughts so easily veer in the wrong direction that some days feel like pulling a yacht through the English Channel with dental floss. Some days are just constant effort—and the floss breaks…a LOT. But you can’t let a 20 million dollar ship crass into the shore. Or someone else’s boat.
At least you shouldn’t.
I seem to have recovered almost from the Covid negative mind trap I was in. I’m almost 100%. I can flood my laundry room floor at 7 am and be just fine by 8 am, thank you very much, coffee in hand.
I just caught the ‘flood’ metaphor myself. Pretty clever. And it was a dirty rag! Haha. You can’t make this stuff up.
I don’t think everyone has this mind. This massive vessel that veers off course so easily. But most do. The world is so full of clutter that few of us are shrapnel free. Some, not many, get the unconditional love, healthy attachments, trauma-free environment, and positive role modeling that is required to produce a brain that doesn’t explode on a regular basis. For the rest of us we take up training like a Nija or Trappist Monk. The point is, a lot of effort goes in one direction and for us, that’s OK. Because what’s the alternative? And what else are you going to do with your time? Might as well keep your ship heading in the right direction.
Thank you for this awesome day to pack and give thanks for Uncle John. Thank you for the transition into being a writer, and showing me, in no uncertain terms, us writers are all the same. I’m on my way. Thank you for Levi’s amazing recovery. Thank you for Luc and Chloe and their safety. Thank you for everyone’s safety. Thank you for this boat trip! Thank you for adventure, I am so excited. Thank you for my clients and for your words inside me. Thank you for giving me a go on planet earth. Thank you for Jesus. I wish more people understood this and fewer churches got in the way. Amen.
So today we head out on a boat. I can already see, from land, that this is a make-it-or-break-it kind of thing. For couples. If you can survive ordering each other around and literally navigating on a boat, you’re probably not going to die on land. Maybe see something nice. That’s the hope anyway, a never ending sunset and some nice olives.